I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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