Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Come share oat with me in your robe
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
