Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize