I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
