I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize