I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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