Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
