Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
