he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
