if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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