She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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