morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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