Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize