I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
