Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
