these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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