Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
