I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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