You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
