I want you more than these girls want KFC
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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