she woke up with a sticky ear
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
