Where are you?
In a non slutty way
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think I sprained my soul last night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
