I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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