you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
