I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
