does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
