South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
