I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
