No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
