Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
