i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you never un-have a 4some
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
