Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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