strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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