so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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