is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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