If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize