I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
