he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
