i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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