Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
