he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
