we made out on top of his cat.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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