I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
