we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
