After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
