Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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