I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just want nice things and good sex
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
