Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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