So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
