they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize