Yo dont text me then not text me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
