can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
