Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
NoShamevember. You game?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
