to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
