no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
