so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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