VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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