afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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