i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
