No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
