you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize