WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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