Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
