if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
